Fucking, shagging, humping, banging: doing the beast with two backs (or, if you are lucky, three or four backs) is all us men think about. Bums, fannies, knobs and knockers – we really are a shallow bunch.

Women think men are all sex obsessed, and men think that all men are sex obsessed (apart from themselves), and both sexes think there is something wrong with them because they aren’t doing it as much as everyone else, but the truth is these are just lazy stereotypes batted around by the media.

…young women prancing around in their swimwear…

Is it a product of the media?

You can barely open a newspaper or magazine without someone’s assets being dangled in front of your eyes; and you certainly don’t need to go looking for pornography on the internet to find cavorting couples advertising dating websites or to have pictures of nubile young women prancing around in their swimwear thrust in your face (just look at the Daily Mail online), so what the hell else would we be thinking about? Quite a lot, as it happens.

A recent report from Ohio State University confirms what all us men already knew: we don’t think about sex every seven seconds. Yes, we might think about sex more than women – but not that much more. According to their findings, men think about sex 19 times a day (only once more than we think about food ) and, unsurprisingly, we also think about sleep 11 times a day. Women think about sex 10 times a day so, if the figures are to be believed – you lot are no angels either.

…in this world of seemingly non-stop copulation…

Those who are most at ease with their sexuality think about it more than others, but not all thoughts about sex are sexy. In fact, I’m sure a lot of them are very un-sexy indeed. And, for those who are less comfortable with sex, it’s likely that a number of those thoughts are more about where they fit in, in this world of seemingly non-stop copulation: do I need to be more adventurous in bed? Is my penis too small? Does everyone else have these spots? Why are my boobs so small? Why is my vagina not perfect like a porn star? What should I do with my pubic hair? Why am I the only single one out of all my friends? Am I too old to have children?

Having worked in various offices over the years, I would say that, on average, men probably think about football more than they think about sex, but where that leaves the likes of us who couldn’t give a flying fuck about sport (at least at a non-international level, anyway) I really don’t know.  

…men and women are not so different…

I think the rest of the time men and women are not so different, and we most likely think about similar things: commuting, being unfulfilled in our jobs, why am I so tired?, money, paying the bills, giving up smoking, cutting down on drinking, why am I so unhappy? (the only truly happy people are stupid people, so don’t feel too bad about that one), what will I have for dinner? Is that person on the train looking at me? Where’s my bag/wallet/purse? Putting the recycling out, what’s on telly? Who in their right mind watches Come dine with me/X Factor/Im a Celebrity (delete as applicable)? Why do I accept Facebook friend requests from work colleagues when all they do is bang on about Palestine? Do I really need an iPhone: the list goes on and on and on… 

 

About The Author

I am a final year Journalism & Media student at Birkbeck. I write on a wide range of subjects, but my main areas of interest are sex and relationships, and sexual/mental health. I also work part-time in sexual health, and answer questions from young people on the website of Bliss Magazine.

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